Tu lo sigh.

"Alma del core" by Antonio Caldara

What it means, basically: I like you. I really like you. KISS ME.

From La constanza in amor vince l’inganno, this aria's tepid melody manages to make the joyous emotions of love sound dreary and mundane. Caldara just confirms that pastoral relationships are a total snooze-fest.

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"Non posso disperar" by Giovanni Battista Bononcini

What it means, basically: I know you said you're not into me, but I like you so much it hurts.

This aria tries to worm its way into your heart with an interesting tune, but it's creepy to the core. The eerie tone ensures most singers won't touch it with a 10-foot pole.

James Caldwall / Via britannica.com

"Vergin, tutto amor" by Francesco Durante

What it means, basically: Hey, Virgin Mary, please be chill about the sinners.

Not your best work, Durante. This song might get you into heaven, but it's hard to win over even the most pious audience if they're asleep before the second chord.

calabriaonline.com

"Lasciatemi morire!" by Claudio Monteverdi

What it means, basically: Let. Me. DIE.

Thank god this aria from "Ariana" is a one-pager. It's not often that the audience wants to die, too.

Bernardo Strozzi / en.wikipedia.org

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