You won’t believe the potty mouth Mozart had.

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1. "I find no arse-crack in it"

Dutch ("ik vind er geen reet aan"). This is boring, this does not interest me at all.

2. "All fart and no poo"

Singaporean English. Promises much but delivers nothing. All mouth and no trousers.

3. "To fart too high for one's arse"

French ("Péter plus haut que son cul"). To have ideas above one's station, to be too big for one's boots.

4. "Fur coat, no knickers"

Mainly northern English and Scottish. Looks good on the surface, but nothing underneath.

5. "All hat, no cattle"

Texan. Someone who talks a lot but does very little.

6. "One who fucks in the dark"

German ("Dunkelbumser"). Someone who has sex with the lights off.

7. "He makes my shit itch"

British military. To describe someone particularly annoying. (Also: "He makes my fists itch", someone who brings out the violent urges in one.)

8. "Asparagus Tarzan"

German (Spargeltarzan). A thin, weedy person.

9. "As thick as a bull's walt"

Irish. A "walt" is an erect penis, so the described person is as thick as a bull's boner. Thick as two short planks, only better.

10. "May your house be live on CNN"

Serbian (A bog da ti kuca bila). Expressing a wish that you will be blown up by a bomb falling on your house.

11. "Tommy Two-Shits"

British. Someone who, whatever you've done, will tell you they've done better. As in, if you've had a shit, he or she will tell you they've had two.

12. "This came out of an arse"

Finnish ("tämä on per­seestä"). That sucks, that sucks balls. As in "proge on per­seestä", or "prog rock came out of an arse", i.e. prog rock sucks balls.

13. "Arse with ears"

German ("Arsch mit Ohren". An idiot.

14. "Couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel"

American. Descriptive of someone particularly stupid.

15. "Wearer of a green hat"

Mandarin Chinese ("dài lǜmàozi", 戴绿帽子). A cuckold, a man whose wife is unfaithful to him. In the Tang dynasty, male workers in brothels apparently wore green hats. The suggestion is that the man's home is a brothel, and his wife a prostitute.

16. "Thick as manure but only half as useful"

Irish. Self-explanatory.

17. "I shit on your mother"

Cuban and Spanish ("Me cago en tu madre"). Screw you, fuck you. Taking a shit on someone or something sacred is a common Hispanic interjection. For instance: "I shit on the communion host" (Me cago en la hostia), "I shit on God" ("Me cago en Dios"), "I shit on the Virgin" (Me cago en la Virgen), or, in a particularly offensive one from Cuba, "I shit in your mother's cunt" ("Me cago en el coño de tu madre").

18. "Rotten ballsack"

Dutch ("rotzak"). Dislikeable person, arsehole.

19. "Cow cunt"

Mandarin Chinese ("niúbī", 牛屄/牛逼). A positive exclamation, roughly comparable to "fucking awesome".

20. "Skipping cunt"

Dutch ("huppelkut"). A shallow woman.

21. "Take a shit in your hand, then slap yourself in the face"

Italian ("Caccati in mano e prenditi a schiaffi"). A cognate of "go fuck yourself".

22. "[He/she is] inside a fart cloud"

Argentinian ("en una nube de pedos"). In a world of his/her own, unconcerned by the world outside his or her foetid little cloud.

The Kure Maritime Museum of Science History / Wikimedia Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

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