Your struggles are stars that you cannot fathom into constellations.

He has emotionally destroyed so many times you've lost count.

"No, I'm fine. I just have Chapter 21 of The Fault in Our Stars stuck in my eye."

20th Century Fox

In fact, most of your books are impossible to open due to the glue that is your fallen tears.

Why someone has yet to capitalize on the entrepreneurial gold that would be a waterproof John Green novel is beyond us all.

Warner Brothers

"Johnning" is so much harder than it looks.

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Johnning: not for the faint of heart.

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