Because you can be a size 10 in one brand and a 16 in another. The world doesn’t really make sense, after all.

Marie Southard Ospina

Between vanity sizing, inaccurate measuring charts at e-retail destinations, and the fact that no two bodies are the same, figuring out what size you are isn't an easy feat.

When you're plus-size, things get even trickier. Let's forget, for a moment, that most brands and stores simply stop producing apparel after a size 12. The reality is that a curvier body has, well, more curves. And those curves aren't something you can easily measure — let alone put into jeans.

I will admit that I am simply not a big denim lover. Whether this is due to my affinity for vintage dresses, or whether it's a distaste cultivated by the sheer unavailability of comfortable plus-size jeans that fit a 50-inch bum and a 39-inch waist, I do not know. What I do know is that sitting in my closet are clothes — including jeans — ranging from sizes 14 to 20. Just like no two bodies are ever the same, it would seem no two pairs of jeans are ever the same, either.

So because I'm into fashion/beauty experiments (like finding out how photo editors around the world manipulate my features or gauging reactions to my low-rise bikini), I decided to use my median size of a "16" — which is what I find myself purchasing most often — to investigate what different brands and designers think that number actually means:

NYDJ

Ahh. The sweet feel of perfectly fitting denim. Such a rarity. Soft, sufficiently stretchy — I might change my mind about jeans, after all.

*Lycra

*GOLD STAR RECOMMENDED

Marie Southard Ospina

Jessica Simpson

Just a few more inches... Not even worth the squeeze. Ankles too tight; derriere too loose. Fail.

*Lycra

Marie Southard Ospina

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